School pressures and routines are a distant memory for kids right now. In the beautiful warm weather, we’re all more relaxed and spontaneous, and able to plan excursions and activities with them.

It’s easy to relax our household routines right now too! This is wonderful for our families but can be chaotic. Routines keep our homes and families running efficiently because everyone knows what’s expected and what’s coming up next.

When it comes to bedtime, I say: stick with routines, no matter what season it is! Relaxed sleep routines can create chaos and invite challenging behavior from our kids.

Here are some tips to enhance bedtime in your family this summer:

1. Set up, or tweak your kids’ bedtime routines with their input about what’s best for them! What do they love to do at bedtime?

• A warm bubbly bath.
• A story or two.
• Some thoughtful conversation about all the great stuff that happened that day.
• Planning activities and outfits for the next day.
• And of course, lots of snuggling with parents, pets, siblings, and stuffies.

What unique rituals does your family have at bedtime? Add them to the list!

2. Get your child involved in setting up a comfy and personal sleep space. Ask them what are things they want to do, or create in their room and around their bed to help make help them sleep better?

3. Talk about the benefits of good sleep with your children. If they understand what their job is and how they can help their brain and body, they’ll be on board to follow the routines. Some ideas to discuss include:

• At night, we need to get our bodies ready for sleep, and make sure it’s tired and ready for sleeping.
• Our bodies need sleep just like good nutrition, exercise, and water.
• Our bodies develop and grow when we’re sleeping! While we’re dreaming, our bodies get strong so they can heal injuries, fight illnesses, build up more energy, and grow!
• Our brain needs sleep so we can remember stuff, focus and concentrate better during the day, imagine, and solve problems.

4. Share your dreams with each other in the morning. Before bed, try to predict what you might dream about! Maybe start a dream journal for drawing or write down the dream plot lines. Do both!

Some questions for discussion may include: What are dreams? What are the stories in your head at night? Can you remember them and draw a picture in the morning? These conversations can be very funny!

With any family routine, you’ll get more “buy-in” from your kids if they feel their voices are heard, and their wants and needs are addressed. Ask them what they think, want, and need, and then incorporate their ideas into cozy bedtime activities. Hopefully, if they understand the benefits of sleep, they’ll be motivated to cooperate and embrace healthy habits around this important life skill.

Wishing you and your families sweet dreams and restful sleep this summer.

___________

My tips blend well with many suggestions I share in my first book, Launch Your Kid: How to Promote Your Child’s Academic & Personal Success (without being a helicopter parent), which launched in January 2021.

-buy it today at www.righttrackeducation.ca/shop and use BACKYARDCAMP20 to get 20% off!

‍

The post Bedtime Tip for the Lazy Days of Summer appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

It’s not September, but it is “back to school.” We know we can expect things will be different when our kids transition to in-class school after a long break. With that, here are a few strategies parents can employ for a smoother transition.

Expect your kids will be crabby

The first weeks of school are full of hopes, jitters, reunions, excitement, and disappointments. Mixed emotions create exhaustion! (for students and parents!) You may find that child’s cranky, needing an earlier bedtime, or they’re just plain difficult to be around. This is normal.

Planning keeps the house running well

Routines at home matter now more than ever. Keep consistent mealtimes, bedtimes, bath time, and free time to maintain peace and sanity in the house.

They’ll be hungry

With the excitement (and stress) of being back with friends, teachers, and a variety of activities, kids are burning more energy. Have lots of healthy, filling food on hand, packed in lunch bags for kids on the go.

Brace yourself

‍For the third week of school (give or take). Kids “hit the wall” around this time. Traditionally, when kids go back to school In September, we see flu viruses spreading, and lice. Hopefully, though, COVID-19 protocols will mitigate these health threats. You may also find it’s hard to get kids out of bed in the morning.

This may just be the longest month ever

As a result, your kids will get tired. The rug was pulled out from under us, regarding March Break in Ontario. Although we felt relieved to learn that kids would be in school for a couple of months (knock on wood!), the reality is that kids have been learning and going to school in one way or another since early January.

With the break coming later now, a lot of kids will really need it. Pace yourselves.

Support your teachers

They’ve been doing an amazing job during the pandemic, keeping our kids safe and as engaged as possible. I know, I know — your focus is your child and keeping your family sane. But remember that teachers have just finished a report card period and interview days, as well as a pivot back-to-school after a long phase of remote teaching (which I can tell you from experience is draining, and at times, frustrating).

Some teachers need more support than is available with respect to technology and remote learning. Many of them had their own kids underfoot while working full-time from home. They’re already exhausted and won’t get a break — so give them a break! Write a kind message in your child’s agenda, or send a treat to class. They’ll appreciate it, I assure you!

Hygiene, Hygiene, Hygiene

Just like in the September back-to-school season, I remind parents to get their kids to wash their hands often, get to bed early, stick to those routines, pace themselves and eat well.

Have fun and stay healthy!

___________

My tips blend well with many suggestions I share in my first book, Launch Your Kid: How to Promote Your Child’s Academic & Personal Success (without being a helicopter parent), which launched in January 2021.

-buy it today at www.righttrackeducation.ca/shop and use BACKYARDCAMP20 to get 20% off!

The post Return to In-Class school: What to Expect appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

It wasn’t until I became a father of twins that I realized how many ignorant mistakes and blunders I must have made. I struggled to distinguish between identical twins. I spoke to multiples as if they were each other’s keeper. I once even failed to realize that a pair of fraternal twins were related.

As my own fraternal twins are now a year away from entering preschool, I find myself reflecting upon my practice and feeling compelled to share how my newfound experiences with my own children will affect how I support multiples moving forward. Simply put, this is the advice I would give to any parent, colleague, or administrator about teaching my own children.

Twins are two separate people

No matter the age or context, twins deserve to be seen and valued as independent, unique persons. As an educator, it is your responsibility to get to know and support twins as individual students – just as you would any child in your care.

With some simple acts of mindfulness, you can help ensure that twins feel comfortable as individuals in your classroom and school community:

• Refer to each twin by name. There is perhaps no more dehumanizing experience for a multiple than always being referred to in generalizations like “The Twins” or “The Smiths.” For identical twins, make it a point to learn how to differentiate them.
• Keep your curiosities in check. While it is true that twins share a unique experience that can be intriguing, individual multiples deserve to decide to what degree they want to share about (or even identify as) being a multiple. Don’t treat twins like a sociology experiment.
• You don’t need to provide identical experiences and opportunities for each twin. A professor once told me “There is nothing more unequal than sameness.” This holds true for multiples. Just because one sibling is given a special privilege or is selected as a volunteer for an activity doesn’t mean the other sibling must be as well.
• Avoid twin vs. twin comparisons. Much like avoiding sibling comparisons year-to-year, it is even more important to do so with twins (whether they are in the same classes or not). Ability and interests are a combination of nature and nurture. Just because one twin shows an affinity for something doesn’t mean the other will as well. Similarly, one twin’s struggle is not necessarily the other’s. Teach, assess, and support multiples on a personal level – just like you would any other individual student.
• Don’t create twin vs. twin competitions. Whether it’s in a classroom game or the grade book, pitting multiples against each other is a no-win situation. In my practice, I definitely have made passing comments to individual twins about each other thinking I was providing playful motivation. Now, as a father of twins, I understand how this does little more than send the message that they are each being regarded as merely half of a pair.
• Parent contact should be focused on one student at a time. Just because you may wish to discuss one twin with a parent does not mean that you have to have something to say about the other. Furthermore, formal conferences should be scheduled separately to establish dedicated time for each student – no two-for-one bundles!

Be the example for your students

There are plenty of things you can do in your own interactions with multiples to make each child feel heard, understood, and cared for. That said, you also set the tone for how multiples are treated by their peers. If you call them “The Twins” or regularly compare them to each other, students will too. This establishes and reinforces a pattern that could follow the siblings throughout their school careers.

Even if you are doing your best to individualize twins, many kids probably still won’t. Set expectations that every student deserves to be called by their own name and treated as their own unique person. Be attentive to how twins are being treated and interject when appropriate. The combination of being both proactive and reactive will help lay the groundwork for multiples to enjoy the comfortable learning environment they deserve.

Together or apart should be the parents’ and students’ decision

Last but not least, the big question with multiples is often when or whether to separate them. It starts at home with things like bedrooms and bath time, but few decisions are more agonizing than what to do about school.

My wife and I (both educators) have gone back and forth on this issue since we found out we were expecting twins. Next fall, our kids will go to school for the first time. Even now, we aren’t totally sure what the right call is. That said, we are adamant that it will be a call we make as a family.

Schools and educators are often put in difficult positions when it comes to requests made by parents on behalf of their children. It can feel like an outsider is imposing circumstances (some that may contradict the educators’ own professional opinions) on both working conditions and a child’s education.

Now that I have a foot in both camps, my advice to schools when it comes to multiples is this: while the input of educators may be valuable, it is only one set of voices in a much larger conversation. Families of multiples (and the multiples themselves) share unique insights and experiences that you cannot truly comprehend second-hand. Offer your advice, but let families ultimately decide whether together or apart is best.

In the end, if you are approaching multiples with attentive care, personalized educational experiences, and the support they need to grow, you will do right by them. As a parent and teacher, I am both hopeful and thankful that there will be those that do exactly that for my own children.

Sheldon Soper is a father of twins, content writer, and New Jersey school teacher with over a decade of classroom experience teaching students to read, write, and problem-solve across multiple grade levels. He holds teaching certifications in English, Social Studies, and Elementary Education as well as Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in the field of education. You can follow Sheldon on Twitter @SoperWritings and check out his other projects on his blog.

The post Twins in School – Advice from a Teacher and Parent of Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Many school administrators and teachers today are quite willing to listen to parents and make decisions on keeping twins together in a classroom on a case-by-case basis. Yet not all educators seem quite ready to toss out, or even bend, the old rules. Policies requiring separation of twins in school often result from a well-intentioned desire to help them develop as individuals. Authorities may not realize that twins can be treated as individuals and remain in the same classroom, or that prematurely separating multiples in school can heighten the need they have for each other and, as a result, get their school career off to a negative start.

Obstacles can be overcome when you approach school officials with a positive plan. Present your case in terms of what is best for your children. Demonstrate how well you know your children by citing specifics of how togetherness will benefit your twins—things a teacher could never know,especially the first year. Pediatricians’ recommendations are an important frontline defense against the “old-school” separation rules. Ask your
pediatrician for a letter explaining why your children will benefit from being together in a classroom during the coming year.

Separating multiples may be easier on teachers, but most good teachers are willing to invest the time and effort to learn to be comfortable with twins in the same classroom. You can help. Show teachers little ways in which they can encourage individuality. For example, twins can sit in separate areas of the room, be placed in separate reading groups and on different activity teams. Talk about each child as an individual and encourage the teacher to call them by name. Point out distinct physical features such as different hairstyles; left hand, right hand; color of clothing or the quirky way one sits or walks. Also discuss their temperamental characteristics, likes and dislikes and areas in which each excels. At the same time, tactfully caution the teacher about the flip side of learning to differentiate your twins: labeling.

You might go so far as to offer to consider separating your twins after two months if their teacher observes certain behaviors or signs such as excessive arguing, clinging, competition; not including other children in their activities; or any other behaviors. This demonstrates flexibility and cooperativeness on your part and opens the door for school officials to follow your lead.

Multiples tend to separate and become comfortable with being apart as they move through the primary grades— some sooner and some later, but usually between the ages of 6 and 9. Their individual strengths and talents emerge, along with their individual personalities. Twins’ dependencies—their neediness for each other—tend to swing back and forth throughout childhood.

Working with school administrators and teachers is a learning experience for all involved. When everyone is open to creative solutions, multiples benefit.

The post How to plead for the same classroom appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

The Joy of Twins
(Crown Publishers, Inc., 1988), Pamela Patrick Novotny
The author states that the need to separate twins lies in the fear they will be “pathologically dependent on each other if not forced to strike out on their own while still young.” Our society places great importance on individualism and fosters the belief that keeping twins together only invites comparisons that will hurt the twins, and obstruct their ability to develop separate identities. “The best policy,” Novotny suggests, “seems to be no policy at all, which means that each year, you and your children need to decide what will work best for you.”

The Art of Parenting Twins
(Ballantine Publishing Group, 1999) by Patricia Maxwell Malmstrom and Janet Poland
Malmstrom and Poland agree with Novotny. “Twins vary in their need to be in separate or the same classrooms from year to year.” The authors argue that twins benefit from placement together, however. They make the point “there is no research supporting the idea that separation is necessary for the growth of individuality at this stage. In fact, the evidence suggests that twins who are separated inappropriately are liable to regress and cling more tightly to their relationship.” The authors recommended separation if both children initiate the request, when they’re different in personalities and abilities and one twin has trouble keeping up or if they are getting locked into roles that might restrict their behavior.

The Parents’ Guide to Raising Twins
(St. Martin’s Press, 1983) by Elizabeth Friedrich and Cherry Rowland
The authors point out that starting twins in elementary school together makes it easier for each of them to settle into the new environment, especially if they go to a school where they don’t know anyone else. Friedrich and Rowland, however, cite several twin behaviors that could “inhibit one or the other from participating fully in an area of schoolwork or play if they are kept together.” For example, twins trying to be exactly the same or, in contrast, making an effort to pull apart and establish separate identities.

Separation may also be in the twins’ best interest if one twin feels that he or she can’t compete with the other in certain activities and, rather than risk failure, abandons attempts to participate, or in cases where one or both twins struggle with issues of inferiority or domination. For the most part, the authors encourage individualism and strongly suggest separation in the primary school environment.

The post Separation: Excerpts from the Experts appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Extensive TWINS Magazine research into the academic foundations of separation rules failed to uncover studies or citations supporting separation of multiples in school. In fact, we found no empirical research documenting the experiences of multiples in school, separated or together, or the experiences of educators dealing with multiples together in a classroom.

Educators surmise that separation policies often stem from widely held assumptions about early childhood development in the 1960s when experts stressed the importance of the individual. Overly zealous educators likely extended the thinking to include all twins, regardless of situation or individual needs.

Educators today are quick to point out that these assumptions have changed dramatically in recent years, especially since 1985 when the birth rate of multiples began to soar.

How to plea for togetherness

The best argument for keeping multiples together in school is fairly straightforward: Separating multiples in kindergarten sometimes introduces an element of stress into their lives that makes early education experiences so unhappy they cannot learn and achieve the way parents believe they should.

Fortunately, many school administrators and teachers today are quite willing to listen to individual families and make their decisions on a case-by-case basis. Yet not all educators seem quite ready to toss out the rules that have been in place for many years.

TWINS Magazine advocates keeping twins together in the early years and publishes two special reports for parents who face separation issues in the classroom: “A Guide for Parents Who Want Their Twins to Share a Classroom” and “Separate Classrooms or Together?” These reports can help you build a successful case for keeping your multiples together in a classroom.

Thriving in a common classroom

• Make sure the teacher views your children as individuals, not a unit
• Check in with their teacher frequently.
• Help your multiples’ teacher to tell them apart without relying on artificial means, such as seat assignments or nametags. Give the teacher a few clues, such as “Sally has freckles on her left ear.” Encourage your multiples to dress differently. If one always wears blue, let the teacher know that. Or cut their hair differently—if they agree.
• At the same time, gently point out to their teacher that your twins shouldn’t be compared and labeled to differentiate them. (“Mary’s the shy one.”)
• Expect the teacher to place your twins in separate study groups and promote friendships with others in the class.

The post Standing up for your decision appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

“I know it’s easier for you to have your boys in the same class,” a well-meaning teacher told me when I registered my twin boys for kindergarten. “But it really is better for them to be separated.”

That was my first experience with the public school system and I was a little intimidated by the whole process of filling out forms, watching my kids go through endless screenings, meeting with the guidance counselor, talking with the kindergarten teachers and touring the school. Not to mention, I was in emotional turmoil over the reality that the tiny infants I held in my arms only yesterday were going to “the big school.”

I had tried to prepare my boys and myself for this huge milestone in their lives. I sent them to preschool two days a week for two years, which I had fooled myself into believing was just like “regular school.” We talked about kindergarten all summer long. We drove by the school, looked at school buses and attended the school open houses. As the time drew nearer, though, it all became overwhelming and I was—for lack of a better term—freaking out. My babies were going to be riding a bus—all by themselves. They were going to have to find their own way to their classroom, make new friends, buy their own lunches… and, who knows what else. On top of all these worries, I needed to make a decision that could affect Andrew and Nathan’s first experience with school and maybe even set the tone for their entire adolescent development. Should I keep them in the same classroom or separate them?
It seemed to me that the best choice for them during this time of transition would be to stay together. I felt that they would find comfort and feel less threatened by this new experience if they were together. That’s why I boldly and adamantly announced to the teachers, guidance counselors and anyone else, “I want my boys to be kept together.”

Now, in the face of this professional educator telling me that my desire was not only wrong but was also somehow sel?sh, I began to doubt myself. Could I not know my twins as well as I thought? Did I want to keep them in the same classroom because it would make them feel more comfortable, or because it would make me feel more comfortable? Could the expert be right? Should all twins be separated? I didn’t think so then � and I don’t think so now.

When I consulted the literature, there were differing views on the subject. Many experts, like the school teacher with whom I spoke, believe that separating twins in school will help develop their individuality while decreasing constant comparisons made by teachers, other students and the twins themselves. As parents know, competition between multiples can become a real stumbling block to their development and self-esteem.

On the other hand, some experts believe that twins benefit from the social support they give one another when placed in the same classroom. Separation can actually be detrimental because the twins receive the message that there is something wrong with being a twin. Instead of viewing their relationship as unique and special, they begin to view it as different � even abnormal.

Still confused, I spoke with adult twins. Janet, a co-worker and identical twin, was grateful that she and her sister were never separated in school. She did wish, however, that they had been forced to interact more on an individual basis in high school. Leaving each other to go away to college was almost unbearable because they had never been separated at any point in their lives.

Wanda, a 70-something identical twin whom Andrew, Nathan and I bumped into at the grocery store, told me that people don’t understand the bond between twins. Unlike Janet, she was separated from her sister in school and said that while they enjoyed having their own friends, they wished that they were together more. This feeling was intensified for her now, she told me, because her sister had just passed away.

Having read what the psychologists, pediatricians and educators had to say, and then talking to twins myself, I decided that to make this decision, I needed to look at my own twins.

Andrew and Nathan are very sweet, self-assured little boys. They tremendously enjoy being together, but they also enjoy the company of other children. They are sensitive, caring and smart. When asked, they said they would like to have the same teacher and be in the same classroom. I agreed and decided that for my twins, separation would be detrimental—both socially and emotionally.

After the first grading period, Andrew and Nathan’s kindergarten teacher agreed with me too. She made sure they had opportunities in the classroom to be on separate teams, to work at different stations with other children and to be themselves. At the same time she gave them the opportunity to be together. During our ?rst parent-teacher conference, she was pleased to report that my boys were doing very well and she saw absolutely no problems with keeping them together.

So is this the best choice for every set of twins? No, I don’t believe so. If there is one thing that I learned in my search it is that, as every child is different, every situation is different. For your twins or multiples, separation may be the best choice. It may be an opportunity for them to shine as individuals, to develop a positive sense of self and to experience a world outside of each other. Or, your twins, like mine, may find needed comfort and stability in being together. They may flourish as a team and be able to strike a balance between being together and being with others. Like nearly all aspects of parenting multiples, this is an issue that you need to figure out on your own—with the help of your children. Don’t be afraid to ask others to get new perspectives, but ultimately, you know your children best.

Plan to revisit this issue every year. I believe that we made the best choice for Andrew and Nathan this year, but I also know from experience that they continue to grow and change. And, what’s best for them down the road may be different. Such is life as a mother of multiples.

The post It’s Your Decision appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Like every parent of multiples, I wondered how difficult would be for me to persuade the powers-that-be that my children would be best served if they were together in the same classroom. I felt more confident knowing I had a secret weapon in my portfolio to strengthen my hand for negotiations that day-just in case. I want to share my secret with you.

First, some background: My twins have been at a Montessori school for the last three years-the first two-and-a-half together, and this past six months apart (a trial period we agreed to after two years of arguing with their teachers). Although they have flourished in both environments, they have repeatedly mentioned how much they miss each other when they’re separated.

In a new school, with new friends to make and a new environment to which they must acclimate, my husband and I believe a particular blessing of twinship is for them to have each other-being physically close together-until we parents agree they can be apart for their own reasons.

In writing this, I wish to argue not that all twins should be together all the time, but that parents who disagree with the decisions of a school system regarding their children need only know the path to take with the school to get what they want. I feel fortunate to live in Oklahoma-one of only two states having legal standards for schools that require deference to parental choice in the placement of multiple-birth children.

Jack and Emma will be in the same class next year, and no fight erupted in the effort to place them there. For those of you who live elsewhere, your experience can be discouragingly different-you may be told that your multiples will be separated because it is supposedly “in the twins’ best interest.” And you may feel there is little you can do to change the minds of the teachers and administrators-indeed, some parents of multiples have been told to consider home schooling if they wish to try to control their children’s education

Many of us agree legislation would be helpful, and I have personally endorsed Kathy Dolan’s efforts in this regard (to see a copy of the letter I wrote Kathy, visit her website at http://www.twinslaw.com/Welcome_to_Twinslaw.com_Where_the_twin_bond_is_celebrated_and_protected_under_law!.html

However, in the absence of legislative help, all is not lost. While you may not have control, there is always room for negotiation. And if you level the playing field by knowing what the educators know, you may well succeed.

Educators, like doctors, are expected to follow certain guidelines when taking care of your loved ones. These standards or guidelines are not intended to be applied blindly if there is evidence that following them would be harmful to a specific person in a specific situation. Guidelines exist in an effort to unify the ways in which we do our jobs. Guidelines for educators are created by a federal government task force (the Educational Research and Improvement Council-ERIC) and funded by the Office of Educational Research and Improvement of the U.S. Department of Education, covering topics ranging from how to create fair tests to how to acclimate home-schooled children into higher education.

These guidelines are published on the Internet (at www.eric.ed.gov) and are available to educators across the country.

Just as all doctors are expected to know what the Journal of the American Medical Association is, all teachers and administrators should be familiar with the ERIC Digest and know that it exists and contains guidelines for assisting them in providing an appropriate educational environment for all of our children.

Many educators seem to have forgotten the ERIC Digests—or never knew they existed—because these men and women are often arguing a position to you that is in direct opposition to their own guidelines, which say—wait for the shocker here—that parents often know what is best for their children, and that placement of twins together should be allowed unless certain circumstances exist!

If you have children nearing school age, you would benefit by going to the site above and printing out these guidelines for yourself, putting them in your “Important Information” folder along with your twins’ immunization records. Be prepared to “share” them with your local school principal when enrolling your children in school.

This is especially important if you believe your district will be less than eager to adopt your assertions about your children’s needs to be in the same classroom. You will then be prepared to argue from a position of increased strength by asking the educators to agree to follow their own guidelines when teaching your children.

In brief, the guideline says that parents and teachers should ask themselves a few questions when considering the appropriate placement of multiples, namely:
• Are the twins, by the age of five, able to make and sustain friendships independently of one another? If so, they can be placed together if the parents wish. If not, separation should be considered on an “experimental” basis to allow this to begin.
• Do classmates or teachers constantly compare the twins, leaving one to feel negatively toward school? If so, separation could be considered. ?(In my opinion, a frank discussion with a teacher who is making comparisons is warranted to eliminate his or her unhelpful behavior).
• Are the twins consistently disruptive when they are together (and have attempts to change their behavior failed?) If so, separation may be important to preserve the rights of other children to learn successfully.

• Does a female twin “over-mother” her male sibling? If so, separation may help the boy develop independent behaviors and improve his learning.
• Does a female twin “over-mother” her male sibling? If so, separation may help the boy develop independent behaviors and improve his learning.
• How will separation affect twins who are used to leaning on each other for academic and social support, especially in preschool and early elementary education? A balance must be found between twins being overly dependent upon each other and twins being separated before they are able to cope adequately.
• Is there a social or health concern that would compound the stress of separation on the twins? For instance, if one twin has disabilities and leans on the other one, or if the parents are separating or divorcing, placement together may be in the best interests of the children.
• Finally, if the twins are school-aged, what do they want? The guidelines recognize that children have a right to their opinions and that those should be taken into account along with all other available information when the decision is made.
• And most interestingly, ERIC recognizes the importance of gaining the agreement of the parents:

“Placement decisions should also take into account the views of the parents…If parents disagree on the best course of action, teachers may want to listen carefully to each, make suggestions for them to consider, invite them to observe their children in the classroom, and suggest a short-term experiment of separating or keeping the twins together. During that time, the twins can be closely observed and evaluated by teachers and parents. In this way, the school personnel and the parents can address the issue as a team focused on the long-term best interests of the children.”

So don’t sell yourself short when it comes to directing the education of your children—your opinion matters most, and you have always known it. Remember that if your children turn out poorly, nothing else you have ever done matters.

The people who have the greatest interest in your children’s final outcome are you and your children, not the people who went to school to learn to teach them. They may love children and be dedicated professionals when it comes to educating children, but ultimately, those who teach will only be with your children for about nine months or less, after which they move on to another group of kids.

Advocate for your twins just as you did while you were pregnant with them—ask the tough questions, demand answers from the professionals, and be willing to participate with them to improve your children’s educational experience. Ask to be part of a team with your kids’ educators, neither insisting that they be “the boss” of the educational process nor agreeing to be relegated to the sidelines.

And keep the ERIC guidelines in mind—you never know when you might need them again to help you find answers when talking to the other members of the team. Best wishes for a successful school year—see you on the playground!

Bio/Byline: Dr. Rachel Franklin, a board-certified family medicine physician in Oklahoma City, is the mother of 4-year-old twins and the author of Expecting Twins, Triplets and More: A Doctor’s Guide to a Healthy and Happy Multiple Pregnancy (St. Martin’s Griffin 2005), available at www.TwinsMagazine.com (Twins Bookshelf, Pregnancy and Expecting Books). She posts advice on the TWINS Magazine Message Board forums “Pregnant with Multiples?” and “Postpartum.” Visit her Web site, www.AskDrRachel.com

The post Breaking the Barriers: The Secret to Controlling Your Twins School Placement appeared first on TWINS Magazine.