Raising twins is a different experience entirely — and parents who’ve done it know that the standard advice doesn’t always apply. Ellen Elizabeth has never known anything other than two at once, and in this piece she shares the three strategies that actually kept her going.
1. Schedule, Schedule, Schedule!
Syncing your twins from the start is one of the most effective things you can do. My son was in the NICU for two weeks after birth, which complicated our early days. But I knew before they were born that I would never sleep if they weren’t on the same schedule.
Once both were home, I put them on the same schedule immediately — even if it meant waking a sleeping baby. (I’d call “never wake a sleeping baby” a myth.) I fed them at the same time: sometimes tandem breastfeeding, sometimes one nursing while the other had a bottle. They went to sleep together every three hours after feeds. Sleep is non-negotiable as a parent of newborns. Get what you can, when you can.
2. Make Sure Your Partner Is on the Same Page
Teamwork isn’t optional with twins. I made sure my husband was comfortable bottle feeding from day one — he was as involved in feeds as I was. We split night shifts so neither of us was running on nothing: I took the late shift, he took early morning before work. Staying home with two babies is harder than a full-time job. Make sure everyone working in that house knows it.
This applies as they grow too. If you and your partner aren’t aligned on discipline, the kids will notice. Inconsistency creates confusion, and confusion creates more chaos. Stability matters.
3. It’s OK to Use Formula
I knew early on I wouldn’t be able to exclusively breastfeed. The first three weeks were brutal — I loathed pumping, breastfeeding hurt, and I felt like all I did was feed and pump on a loop. I used formula when I was too exhausted or in too much pain. Once I figured out tandem breastfeeding, things got easier — but I never stopped using formula when I needed it.
These are the three things that worked for my family. My twins are now three, and I still run a synced schedule. Whatever you’re doing — it’s working. Twins are a different beast, always bringing more unexpected twists. Just hang in there. We are all Rockstars.
Ellen Elizabeth is a writer, wellness advocate, and mother of twins based in Colorado Springs. After conquering infertility through IVF, she dove headfirst into the twin parenting experience — and has been writing honestly about it ever since. Her memoir Split Ends, available on Amazon, chronicles her path through addiction and recovery to the life she built on the other side. Ellen writes about twins, motherhood, and resilience with the kind of hard-won candor that only comes from having actually lived it. Find her at itsellenelizabeth.com.
First published April 2022. Republished as part of the Twins Magazine contributor archive.
